I woke up today with a question on my mind. Why do people get dogs? I know that is not the question in the title, but bear with me. I love to watch YouTube videos of dogs at play to practice reading body language and recently I watched a video of dogs playing at a dog park. But as I watched the video, I kept noticing how the people interacted with their dogs. This is something I regularly take note of when interacting with and observing dogs, but at dog parks specifically there are interesting things that come up. One facet of the human/dog interaction at the dog park stuck with me and made me wonder why people get dogs. This facet was what the person does when the dog plays at the dog park. Some people ignore their dog and socialize with other people or read a book, while others keep a close eye on their dog. Some people do half and half, still others engage in dog shaming or happily engage in rewarding conversation with their dogs, among other things. Sadly, more often than not, the people were doing things that made the dog uncomfortable or leaving inexperienced or introverted dogs to fend for themselves. The way people interact with their dogs is something that has always intrigued me, but, while watching this particular video, I was struck by a desire to understand why people get dogs if we cannot or won’t tend to them as they need. So, I asked myself that very question, “Why do people get dogs?”
The Wrong Reasons
I believe that most people get dogs for loving companionship. However, the problem I keep noticing is that people tend to interact with their dogs in ways that they want, rather than how the dog wants or needs. For example, there are huge numbers of dogs who should not be, nor do they want to be, at a dog park. Yet I see them there all the time. Why would this happen? Why do we take dogs to the dog park? The answer struck me with sadness. Dog parks are convenient for us. We “need” to give the dog exercise and socialization, but we do not have the energy or desire to build a search game in the yard, or do a training session in the living room, or set up a play date with the dog’s best friend, so we take the dog to the dog park. Yet the dog park is the last place we should be taking many dogs for many reasons, including, but not limited to, the fact that many owners check out once they get there leaving the dogs to fend for themselves, leading to many problems both in the moment and down the road.
Another reason I think we get dogs would be to boost self-image. Having a dog makes us look a certain way to others. While having a dog to make us look a certain way is not necessarily bad, it could be bad if that is our main or only reason, we get a dog. (Even dogs who have jobs, such as law enforcement dogs or hunting dogs need their emotional, social, and psychological needs met.) Sadly, dogs suffer for this image, namely dogs who promote what I call the doll image and the power image. When I say the doll image, I am referring to having a dog that looks “pretty” or “tiny” and makes us look fancy and high class. When I say the power image, I am referring to having a dog who looks intimidating or focused and make us look powerful and impressive. Dogs used to promote the doll image tend to deal with being handled inappropriately or by the wrong people. They tend to be forced to allow clothes to be put on them (without finding out if the dog is okay with that or not) or taken to social gatherings that make them nervous and scared. Dogs used to promote the power image are often laden with choke chains, pinch collars, and e-collars. They are often yelled at and left to perform behaviors that are highly stressful for the dog if not trained properly (e.g., a dog with severe boundary aggression is not the same as having a well-trained guard dog. A dog with an out-of-control prey drive is not the same as a trained bird dog). If we get a dog for the way it makes us look, we cannot forget that it is a living breathing being who needs all of its needs met and needs to be heard. We should not get a dog and treat it as if it is a stuffed animal or an accessory. We need to make sure we get dogs for the right reasons.
Do We Love Our Dogs?
As I answered the question of why we get dogs, I was struck by another question. Do we love our dogs? We all say we love our dogs, and I think we believe we do. However, it seems that we often get dogs because we can be gratified and look a certain way with little to no social accountability from the dog (or so we might think). Between people, there is verbal communication. We can speak up for ourselves. Though not every case is the same, most of us have the ability to tell someone we don’t like their behavior or that we don’t want to do something. And hopefully most of us have learned to respect the other person and be considerate of their feelings and needs. But dogs don’t seem to get that same courtesy even on the simplest levels (e.g., dogs not liking the dog park but being taken there anyways). They are often forced to do what they do not want to do and they often have no way of expressing displeasure without being reprimanded. We say we love our dogs, and I believe we do. But do we really love them? I mean, do we love them enough to listen to them and give up our comfort to care for them the way they need to be cared for? Or do we just want them around because they make us look cool? These are questions I hope I will always remember to ask myself, and I hope that others will remember to ask themselves as well. In some cases, I believe our dog’s lives might very well depend on it.
Do We Get Dogs Because We Love Them?
As a dog trainer, my biggest ally is my ability and willingness to listen to what dogs are trying to say to me. When I work with dogs, I listen to them and find a way to communicate with them and I teach that dog to do the same with me. You see, we can solve a lot if we listen first, then respond. The hard part is that it takes time, effort, and sacrifice. Are we really willing to take the time and effort needed to care for our dogs? Are we really willing to give up our momentary comfort to meet our dog’s needs on all levels as best we can? Do we really love our dogs? I think most of us do, we just need to learn to listen better and act on what we find. So, as I come to the end of this entry, I wonder in conclusion, do we get dogs because we love them? I think we are all capable of doing what it takes to love dogs the way they love us. I think that many of us do get dogs or spend time with dogs because we “love” them, but I think that we could all do a better job caring for our dogs by listening and learning about who they are and what they need. It might be hard, but we might be surprised with how much better our relationships with our dogs can get.
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