Dogs and puppies are so cute! We all know it, even people who claim not to be “dog people.” As humans, we often want to squish and hug these cute animals as we might do to a stuffed animal. However, I am here to tell you a little-known fact about dogs: they hate hugs. As a matter of fact, I have only met one dog in my entire life that enjoyed a hug, and even he began to dislike it after a couple seconds. What is it about the hug that dogs don’t like? By hugging them, what are we actually doing? What should we be do instead? To find the answer to these questions, read on!
To Hug a Stranger
Have you ever gone to a park and seen a friend there? Say you have and you walk up to them to say hello. Your friend gives you a big hug then introduces you to their roommate who you have never met. As soon as your friend explains who the person is you immediately leaned forward, grabbed the person in a hugging embrace and held on as you talked to them, right? I hope your answer was no, that is definitely not what you would do to this stranger. Even before dealing with the virus, most of us knew that there are a collection of individuals and cultures who would find it completely inappropriate and rude to hug a stranger. So, of course, we do not. We simply shake their hand and smile, introduce ourselves then carry on a polite conversation. Or, as we have all gotten into the habit these days, maybe we skip the handshake and move onto the polite conversation. But the point is that, we don’t hug strangers, and many of us don’t even hug people we know unless we know they will receive it well.
Space Invaders
So, if we would never do this to people, why would we do it to dogs? The reason is probably because many people do not know how to read dog stress signals and many people do not know a lot about dog culture. So, let me explain a little bit about stress signals and dog culture. Have you ever seen a dog being loosely or tightly hugged and it has a huge “smile” on its face? Well, this smile is actually quite far from what we think of as a smile. This “smile” is actually your dog’s version of a cringe. Your dog is tense and simply waiting for the uncomfortable moment to pass and the personal space invasion to end. See, in dog culture, space invaders are not welcome. Even dogs who have no understanding of personal space (like the one in this posts cover photo) are usually not received well among other dogs. Dogs naturally greet from a comfortable distance by observing or engaging in distanced play, then touching noses, then sniffing the bottom of the other dog. This is a process that is essentially the dogs equivalent to our human process of introductions, a handshake, and a polite conversation about who the other person is and what they do for a living.
The Doggie Handshake
So how should we greet dogs? What would dogs consider polite? We should get into the habit of greeting dog, much like we would people, with a polite handshake. Interact from a distance (talk to them or throw a ball) until both parties are comfortable with a calm touch (the handshake). This “doggie handshake” usually consists of the person letting the dog sniff them. The dog will often sniff a hand, a shoe, or pant leg. The person should let the dog do this without interrupting, even if the dog likes meeting new people. Once the dog is finished, then you can get down on their level and pet them (start under the chin, rather than going over the head), usually while they sniff more. Never grab the dog, and always allow it to have the freedom to engage or walk away. It is important that we understand how dogs would like to be greeted, especially when the person is coming into the dog’s home. This can help put the dog at ease and make guests coming over much less stressful for dogs. It can even help if your dog gets too excited, as your dog will get used to the calm process of greeting people. (Tip: if your dog gets hyper when people come over, you might have to teach it to greet people politely).
Closing Thoughts
As hard as it can be to avoid hugging a dog, hugging a dog is not just impolite, but it can be dangerous. A dog who feels like their space is being unjustly invaded might growl or snap to get the person to move. This is a completely understandable response and is essentially the equivalent of a person pushing away someone who just inappropriately hugged them. This can especially be dangerous for children if they have grown up with a dog who has a tendency to wait out the tension rather than walk away. The child will become used to the idea that the dog “likes” the hug and might try it on other dogs who will be much more expressive about their dislike of being touched by strangers. As a result, and as a dog trainer, I would like to make a public service announcement: please respect dogs' personal space, both for everyone’s psychological comfort and for everyone’s safety. Doing this is not only polite and safer, but it will also help build trust between you and the dog you are greeting.
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