Redefining Respect: Part 2

Respect is a common word used in the world of training animals. Any good animal trainer will work to define the words they use when they are working with animals and people. As a result, I have been working to redefine what the word “respect” means when we hear it spoken. Before I get started, if you have not read “Redefining Respect: Part 1” please click here to check it out before reading through this post.

A Second Definition

When people speak, each word often brings up something in our imaginations. The word respect might bring up a few different things. I know some people who think of someone who is quite domineering and controlling when they hear the word respect. Others think of the popular song sung by the amazing Aretha Franklin, while still others think of someone in their field of expertise whom they would like to emulate. In Part 1 of this post, I talked about a common definition for respect that I found which was, “esteem for or a sense of the worth or excellence of a person, a personal quality or ability, or something considered as a manifestation of a personal quality or ability” (found at this link: https://www.happyanimalsts.com/post/redefining-respect). If you have read Part 1 of this post, then you will know how that definition applies to animal training. But just like many words, the definition can change based on context and who is using the word. So for Part 2 of this post, I wanted to share another common definition of the word respect and that is “to show regard or consideration for” (found at this link: https://www.happyanimalsts.com/post/redefining-respect).

What Does This Mean?

So, what does this definition of respect mean for people and for animal training? From what I can tell, it means that we consider what others need and want and, I would say, are willing to adjust our actions to accommodate those needs or wants. Now, before I move on, I must point out an important distinction. Adjusting our actions does not mean we change our beliefs. For example, speaking is an action. If we disagree with someone, we can still show them respect in the way we speak and how we present our argument. This distinction is important to understand for my next point.

Respect in animal training is often depicted as forcing the animal to comply with the handler’s instructions. But, as discussed in Part 1 of this post, respect in a relationship has two sides. The handler might want respect from the animal, but the animal must have a reason, in their own mind, that would result in them showing respect for the handler. So, here is where this second definition comes into play. To be respected, we must respect others. To be “esteemed” by others (the first definition of respect), we must be willing to consider the needs of others (the second definition of respect) and be the first to adjust our actions to accommodate those needs (application of both definitions of respect).

What Does that Look Like in the Animal?

In reference to animal training, what does it look like when an animal respects its handler? As I mentioned in Part 1, people are looking for an animal that responds to the handler’s cues. As I pointed out in the end of that post, we are often not actually looking for respect in our animals; we are simply looking for good behavior. So, where is the connection you might be asking. Here it is: if we want good behavior from our pets, we, as the handler and leader, must first consider their needs and adjust our actions to accommodate those needs and desires. We must be the first to respect. Once we do that, they will begin to esteem us (as the first definition says), and not just because dogs love everyone or because your horse is amazing, but because they truly are interested in considering what we want (as the second definition says). This interest in us will result in the animal then trying to adjust their behavior to accommodate for what we desire and want. They are animals, we are people. We must be the first to act. We must be the first to say, “I am willing to respect your needs and desires,” before we ask them to do the same for us. Respect is not a bad thing. What is bad is when we define it as something that should be given without reason and gained by force.

Respect is the Result, not the Starting Point

Respect is a choice. The first step in being a leader or handler is being the example and showing respect for others even when we do not understand or agree with them. For example, if your horse “disagrees” with you on something, instead of assuming they disrespect you and forcing them to “behave”, ask why they disagree. In that moment, what needs are they trying to communicate to you? Be willing to give them that choice to disagree with you and respect their decision. In other words, think highly of, or “esteem,” their decision and consider the needs that motivated them to make that decision. If you disagree with the animal or the way they expressed their disagreement, teach them what you do want from them. If you teach them what you do want using positive reinforcement, if you teach it with choice, the chances of them choosing to do it your way go up, not down. Be the first to respect by considering the animal’s needs and desires, being willing to adjust your actions to accommodate those needs and teaching the animal what you do want them to do. Train with positive reinforcement and as you work with them, as you lead them and teach them, watch as they begin to “esteem” you, consider what you want, and adjust their actions to accommodate your desires!

If you are new to positive reinforcement or have tried it in the past and have not gotten results, I encourage you to find a positive reinforcement trainer and work with them consistently as they will help make sure you are doing it correctly. The trainer will help you and your animal learn more effective and healthier ways to train.

Reference:

https://www.happyanimalsts.com/post/redefining-respect